#8 – Breakdown

Our last night in Ft Kochi is our BEST and cheapest meal so far. The previous night we were seduced into an “in” looking hotel’s hip wine bar. I’m not drinking (antibiotics) but Mallory has the best and only glass of good wine either of us has had in India. In addition we order pumpkin pockets, an appetizer. The delicious pumpkin pockets, good wine, and great ginger tea along with the gorgeous outdoor dining area and beautiful people we see down below all suggest a great place to dine. We don’t have a reservation, so we’re tucked out of the way in a hot corner and order what turns out to be the only truly bad meal we’ve had in India, and certainly the most expensive. Go figure, looks can be deceiving.

But the last night we eat at Dal Roti, recommended by friends Pam & Sol. At least we can eat at their favorite restaurant even if we finked out on the backwater trip!

I order what I can only be described as an Indian burrito, after watching two American girls in short shorts and sleeveless tanks (not really how you should dress in India) eat with gusto. They direct us to the Kachti section – I am still dreaming about it.

The last leg of our trip, an Ayurvedic Spa further south on kovallam beach and a luxurious finish at the Leela Palace in Bangalore are to be the reward for our traveling trials. The young men serving us breakfast are excited to tell us that Kovadum beach is the BEST beach in India. The hotel is on the beach and we have ocean views, king size beds, and bath tubs. I am so excited, I can’t even explain. I’m a bath person – everyday. Living without a tub is hardship for me, serious hardship.
The boys ( 23 & 24) tell us it’s a 4 to 4 1/2 hour drive. We are leaving at 7:30 so we should be there by noon. Yay, the beach, a tub, a spa, yippee.

4 1/2 hours later apparently we are still a couple hours away. At 6 hours we pass the cutoff for Kovalam beach – oh, we’re in south Kovalam, ok almost there. Hey wasn’t that the sign for our hotel, as we drive by? Another 10/15 minutes and the driver asks 1, 2, 3 people. He doesn’t like their answers because they all say we’ve passed it. Yup.

We do turn around, we do find the cut off, we do take this road down, down, down winding, curving, narrowing road. I am secretly planning to order a helicopter to get us out of there if this doesn’t work out, but we arrive – at the beautiful Somatheeram Ayurveda Resort. We are met with leis of jasmine flowers, coconut drinks and chocolate bars. Ok, looking good. The beach is broad with white sand, the water blue, umbrellas open, trees blowing as they lead us to our separate beach front little huts. Little huts with their own hammocks, little huts facing the ocean, little huts with bath tubs, little huts with people in green scrub dresses and white caps looking calm and kinda like they’ve had a recent lobotomy. But wait, we’ve passed the little huts facing the water, we’re walking up up away from the beach, up some more. Mallory’s room has a slice of water view and a hammock. Mine does not, nor does it have a bath tub. I am stunned, my reservation says…..back down to office, back down the steps, back past all the little ocean view huts, with lobotomized people, I show the manager the printed proof of my reservation (Mallory’s too). Oh so sorry, big mistake, didn’t catch it, no more ocean views, no tubs, no more rooms with hammocks but we’ll give you some money off.

What can we do? Where can we go? Order the helicopter.

Mallory goes into the dining area to get something to eat because we hadn’t and are hungry, I can’t eat, I’m not going to eat until we leave here. I’m not eating or having any spa treatments, I’m going to sit in my room and sulk but instead I cry and cry and cry. I write Dan, tell him I HATE India, want to come home – NOW. Mistakenly hit send.

Ok gotta run now. Have my ‘treatments’ in 15 minutes. What?


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