There’s more to do on retreat than I imagined. There’s eating, walking, meeting with your director, reading, writing, eating, walking, reading, writing, doing yoga, meditating, reading, eating, reading, getting a massage – thinking, sleeping…..repeat.
‘Confusion’ is the word I wrote at the first meeting with my director. She asked me to write one word that summed up my feelings at the moment – confusion. I really didn’t know exactly why I had chosen to do this. I said it was to review my life, where I had been, where I was, and where I was going. I wasn’t sure, but there might be more to it.
After writing, reading, walking, eating, sleeping and doing yoga for a day, I discover I’m here simply to touch base with myself. In the midst of everyday life this can be a challenge. A steady and developed meditation practice provides this, but I don’t have one. My meditation practice is sporadic, undisciplined and agony. My life is full of doing and I was longing for quiet.
This place is quiet and calm and safe. I find a room in which to practice yoga, another in which to read, and still another to stare out the window and think. There is a beautiful chapel and a wonderful labyrinth to walk. I like it here.